Sometimes it is difficult to explain why those we love and trust decide to cast us aside when they are needed most. A lady once asked me: “Father, why will my husband abandon me with pregnancy and two children?” A man once said to me: “my wife walked out of our marriage of 5 years after I was involved in an accident.” Many explanations could be proffered but facts have shown that GREED and FEAR are two dominant causes why people abandon those who need them most.
Are you feeling abandoned? It is not evil or sin to feel that way, even Jesus felt abandoned by the Father! This message is for you: men may abandon you, but God cannot! If you wish to know how to overcome this difficult stage of life, continue reading slowly…
Cf. 2 Timothy 4:16-18
The first time I had to present my defence, there was not a single witness to support me. Every one of them deserted me – may they not be held accountable for it. But the Lord stood by me and gave me power, so that through me the whole message might be proclaimed for all the pagans to hear; and so I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from all evil attempts on me, and bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen
POINTS FOR REFLECTION
1. Child of God, St Paul felt abandoned before the tribunal when he needed witnesses to stand for him but no one was there to help. He could have been enraged, but he did not. Rather he prayed for those that disappointed him, not holding the guilt against them. St Paul relies on the power of God who gives us utterance on what to say when the time comes:
But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. (Matt 10:19-20).
2. Overcoming the feeling of abandonment is key to our wellbeing, otherwise we won’t maintain healthy relationships with God and our neighbours. It may cause a kind of ‘closure’ to new relationships making you feel that someone you love is going to physically leave and not come back. Or make you feel that the new person will abandon your emotional needs. This can affect your relationships with your parents, partner, or friend, and even God, because it could cause you to trust no one.
How to overcome the feeling of abandonment
To overcome the feeling of abandonment you have to recognize that there are spiritual and physical advantages of this moment of life:
a. It helps you discover your true friends: unless they let you down how do you distinguish between real and fake friends? It offers an opportunity to find real friends and learn how to deal with bad situation.
b. It opens you up to new realities: this new experience will make you learn many new things. Experience have shown that the most learning can be done in most turbulent period. Once you overcome it, the next bad situation will be very easy to deal with. St Paul sees his abandonment as an opportunity to evangelise the pagan world: What do you see of your present predicaments? Do you see something positive?
c. It creates the opportunity to exercise faith and trust God: feeling abandoned brings the Word of God close to our predicament, and like the psalmist we say:
…friends and neighbours you have taken away;my one companion is darkness [Psalm 88:18].
It also makes us exercise faith like never before:
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging… The Lord of Hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. [Psalm 46:1-3,5]
Apostle Paul experienced a transcendence in his faith-encounter with God. He sees God as his source of Power and believes God’s power will save him from future attempts on his life. What faith-encounter describes your faith in God?
TASK
You have a clue how devastating the experience of abandonment can be, therefore make efforts to be a true friend to those around you and avoid anything that will cause you to abandon them.
I Pray for you
May the Lord be your consolation in moments of distress as I declare His word of Isaiah 43:2 over you:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze,in Jesus name. Amen.
